I had planned to post a photo of a dreamsicle swing today, but after watching Modern Family last night I’m just not in the mood for cute. (Another day, perhaps.)
I woke up this morning thinking I should change the name of my blog to Screaming at a Princess Party and write about the seamier side of motherhood. Like the time my 12-year-old asked me to waterboard him. It’s for a story I’m writing, he said. There’s no way I’m going to waterboard you, I said. Fine, I’ll do it myself, he said. He put a bath towel over his face, pulled the kitchen faucet sprayer out as far as it would go, and leaned backward over the sink trying to spray himself in the face. After a minute or so of watching as he contorted himself to get the full blast of water, I said, You’re doing it wrong. (Like I know the right way to do it.) Andrew leaned back over the sink while I sprayed water onto his towel-covered face. I think this is more of a spa treatment than torture, I said after a while. Mmm-hmm, he said, warm water cascading over him. Blissed-out though he was, I’ll probably leave this incident out of the scrapbook.
So the Modern Family episode I watched last night was about Lily’s birthday party. Have you seen it? Clare tries desperately to keep her cool through various trials but ends up, in her own words, “screaming at a princess party.” You can watch it here. Poor Clare. That’s her in the photo, screaming her head off. At a princess party. Life can be so darn messy.